Just finished reading article about Attitude and Health and how it's connected and thought I should share it with you. They were using great example on two people with Fibromyalgia going out for a walk,they both return home with higher symptoms. The first one says something in lines of "I'm feeling worse,it will never get better" while the second one says "I will have to try something different tomorrow". First one being pessimistic only makes herself feeling worse with negative thoughts,she's feeling depressed and out of control. Second one with optimistic outlook is still not denying her illness,she still understands that her activity made her feel worse but she is not blaming herself for it nor she assumes that she should not be active because it makes her feel worse. She just starts looking into different approaches to her exercise activities. I thought about it and it made me think how I react in situations like that and I figured that I would be 'the first one',maybe not to that extent but would definitely feel discouraged. When I feel worse after certain activity I anticipate the same outlook next time I participate in that activity which causes anxiety which keeps me stressed out (regardless of what activity was,working,walking,going out with large group of people) and stress makes my fibro flare up even more. Often I feel that feeling stressed never goes away. Many studies have indicated that people (and animals,believe it or not) under stress have their 'fight or flight' indicators stuck in ON position which gradually weakness the immune system.
I've been trying different things in order to get my life somewhat under control. One of the things I've been doing is trying to stay upbeat and hopeful. I'm avoiding negative people and looking forward seeing people I like,trying to get enough sleep,when my fibro is really bad food is not on my priority list and I loose weight so I've been trying to make things interesting again. Tonight I remembered this great dish from back home,there is a small restaurant that makes it,my husband called carry out in,we went to pick it up, I ate the whole thing and I was really excited about it. For healthy people this might sound strange (that someone is exited about being hungry and being exited about their food) but for people with chronic illness this makes total sense. I am still keeping my gratitude journal,there was few days that I had nothing to put down and then I remembered my loving husband and my precious children and that's what I listed in my entry. It does not have to be something big like I just won lottery,small things can make a big difference,we have to be able to notice them and be grateful about them. On bad days I felt like writing down how I felt and then I remembered,I can keep regular journal for something like that,this is my Gratitude Journal and I will stay thankful and positive. Here are few entries from today,I just re-read them and they made me smile:
*Slept all night w/o waking up (all night was 5-6 hrs but I did not wake up during those hrs of sleep)
* Friendly couple minus one :))) (this means that only one was out on the porch today,still made my day:) )
*We laughed at work (long story,I might come back to it later,it was nice to just laugh because it was funny and I am thankful that it happened)
* Happy about my dinner (this is dish I mentioned above).
I am more happy today, I am exited about my day off tomorrow, I understand that I will probably not get done about half of the things I would like to get done but that's OK, I will get to what I can and do the rest some other time.
It's been helpful for me to put my feelings (emotional and physical) on paper,it makes it more real and it gives me opportunity to look at where the things are in my life and what do I need to do next.
Good night to all!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Selfish or not?
As you know I've been reading lots of helpful stuff about managing Fibromyalgia and one thing they were saying is to surround yourself with positive people and avoid the negative ones. It is so true. Today was really rough day for me,had lot of things I wanted to finish at work plus I had a customer who was just mad at the whole entire world,including me,all that mixed up with long hours = me not feeling well.
Later on,after work I ran into some people that are really nice to me but there is lot of negativity going on in their lives right now and they were generously spreading it around. I felt like my day would have been much better if there was not any drama around me. It sounds so selfish and believe me,I am not selfish person what so ever but sometimes you have to do what ever is best for you and stay away from those people. It is very hard for me to accept that (I am Miss take care of everyone type) but if I want to feel better than I just have to do what ever works for me.
The lesson of the day : Stay away from negativity and don't be afraid to say NO.
PS. Did anyone start Gratitude Journal yet? Share your entries with me,let's be grateful and positive together:)
Later on,after work I ran into some people that are really nice to me but there is lot of negativity going on in their lives right now and they were generously spreading it around. I felt like my day would have been much better if there was not any drama around me. It sounds so selfish and believe me,I am not selfish person what so ever but sometimes you have to do what ever is best for you and stay away from those people. It is very hard for me to accept that (I am Miss take care of everyone type) but if I want to feel better than I just have to do what ever works for me.
The lesson of the day : Stay away from negativity and don't be afraid to say NO.
PS. Did anyone start Gratitude Journal yet? Share your entries with me,let's be grateful and positive together:)
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Gratitude Journal
I've been hearing about this Gratitude Journal for some time and I never even thought about keeping one myself,I have to much to do as it is,I don't have time for another 'must do' . Few days ago I ran into a Fibro related website and one of the self help strategies was keeping a Gratitude Journal. I gave it some thought and I think it's a wonderful idea. We all live such fast paced life that we just don't have time to 'stop and smell the roses'. There are so many things that we take for granted,we think it just has to be that way,well, it does not. Living with chronic illness is very hard, just doing everyday activities such as going to work or housekeeping gets unbearable on a bad day and then on a good day you try to recoup and recover from what ever hit you few days ago. In that struggle we forget about all the nice things that happen to us. Think about what makes you happy,what brought a smile to your face today,what were you able to accomplish.
Here are few entriess from my journal,they might seam so simple and for other people they are just granted but they meant a lot to me:
* Very happy about awards my children brought home from school, my son got 'Quiet and Respectfull' and my daughter got 'Very Artistic' .
(the award my son got had a drawing of a little mouse on it, it describes him so well :) )
*Day at work went pretty well, I was feeling very bad but I managed to accomplish a lot.
* Kids brought the report cards home from school,very proud of them.
* One of my associates brought me a cup of decaf mocha (my favorite), just because,was very happy to get to sit down and have my mocha and it made me feel good that someone thought of me while they were getting their coffee (this does not happen at all at my work place).
* 'The Friendly couple' waived to me this morning,it just made my day.
The last one has to be explained. To get to work I take highway and to get to that highway I cut through trailer park. There is this very nice double wide,fenced in, nice yard,very well maintained. Older couple lives in it. Some of the mornings when I go to work they sit on their front porch and they always wave to the drivers of the cars that pass by. Now you have to understand that a lot of cars pass by,they wave to each one and they always look as if they care,they will wave and smile and that's the way they wish you a good day. And I always have a good they when I see them:)
Even reading about it makes me smile:) This Gratitude Journal might actually be a very good idea,try it and let me know if and how it works for you.
Good night to all!
Here are few entriess from my journal,they might seam so simple and for other people they are just granted but they meant a lot to me:
* Very happy about awards my children brought home from school, my son got 'Quiet and Respectfull' and my daughter got 'Very Artistic' .
(the award my son got had a drawing of a little mouse on it, it describes him so well :) )
*Day at work went pretty well, I was feeling very bad but I managed to accomplish a lot.
* Kids brought the report cards home from school,very proud of them.
* One of my associates brought me a cup of decaf mocha (my favorite), just because,was very happy to get to sit down and have my mocha and it made me feel good that someone thought of me while they were getting their coffee (this does not happen at all at my work place).
* 'The Friendly couple' waived to me this morning,it just made my day.
The last one has to be explained. To get to work I take highway and to get to that highway I cut through trailer park. There is this very nice double wide,fenced in, nice yard,very well maintained. Older couple lives in it. Some of the mornings when I go to work they sit on their front porch and they always wave to the drivers of the cars that pass by. Now you have to understand that a lot of cars pass by,they wave to each one and they always look as if they care,they will wave and smile and that's the way they wish you a good day. And I always have a good they when I see them:)
Even reading about it makes me smile:) This Gratitude Journal might actually be a very good idea,try it and let me know if and how it works for you.
Good night to all!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
SPEAK UP
I was not sure if I wanted to come back for another entry... After I wrote my first one I thought about it,asked myself some questions,for some I had answers,others I still don't. So I decided to go on,keep writing and see where it takes me.
My symptoms have been getting worse by day in last week or so. Today I had to hold on to things in order to stay on my feet,my legs felt as if they were going to give up on me any time,now that's some scary stuff... When I talk about flare ups the worst one I always describe as a tunnel,kind of like the one tornado forms, you get sucked in and you can't get out. First huge flare up started in fall/winter of 2005 and it lasted till about August/September of 2006. I had no idea what has gotten into me,sick and scared would be best description. After I get home from work I would take care of my small children,household chores were on priority basis,I would make sure we all had food to eat,I would put dishes in dishwasher when I could,toilets had to be cleaned and laundry done. There was no dusting,organizing,making things look pretty,it was just not happening. I've dealt with everything the best I could,when I could. After that first huge flare up I was 'fine' up until April of 2010. It is June of 2011 and I'm still in the 'tunel' I've mentioned earlier.
There is so much I want to write about and it is very hard not to start from beginning and keep going until everyone is tired, me writing, you reading. I would like to separate this Fibromyalgia Journey into several different topics. With my symptoms getting worse every day I wanted to address how it feels to be the one who's always sick. One thing I've learned just recently is that you have to be open about how and what you feel. At first I thought it was in my head. There was just no way you can be in so much pain,all the time and all of your body hurts. Fatigue and on top of pain and fatigue came neurological symptoms. Fibro fog was really bad, I could not remember things,it was hard to think,sometimes it was even hard to talk. Tingling and numbness of your hands,legs,even my face. My skin was burning,kind of like you feel when you get sunburn but much worse,much deeper. I would apply lotion several times an hour just to get some relief. I'm assuming gentle massage was what was really helping. Chemical sensitivities,allergies,breathing problems. Dizziness,sensitivity to lights,sounds. No way all this was happening,no way it was real. I would go to see a Doctor, my PCP and I would just tell her that I'm hurting. She would do an exam,tell me that she can't see nothing wrong. Do some bloodwork to exclude and inflammation and check on my tyroid because I was loosing weight. Everything would come back fine. My hands/legs would swell and my joints would hurt so bad that there was just no way that it was not arthritis. I took it upon myself to go see a rheumatologist who then diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. I ended up in Emergency Room (before I went to see rheumatologist) and after ER Doctor examined me and ran some tests I asked him what he thinks could be wrong with me. He looked me and said that if I was not as young as I was he would tell me (before the test results would come back) that I have cancer. I looked at him and said,OK,let's wait for results. He took time to talk to me,talk about my symptoms and after the tests came back (fine,of course) he said that if I keep feeling like this that I have to push my PCP to get me checked out for MS. It made perfect sense. So I went to see my PCP again,told her what ER DR said and before you know it I was on my way to do MRI of my brain and scheduling appointment with Neurologist. After that first visit and my brain MRI being fine I was sent to do back MRI and to come back to see the Neurologist. Between the two MRI's I saw Rheumatologist who then said it is Fibromyalgia if my second MRI comes clean,which it did.
I hope that this entry will get to someone who is going through what ever I went before I got diagnosed and that will empower that person to start doing what ever they can to help themselves. Listen to what your body has to say and SPEAK UP. It is not in your head,it is real and there are thousands of people dealing with this monster on daily basis. Talk to your doctors and talk to your family. They don't know what's wrong unless we tell them. Ask for help,what ever it is that you need. There are several conditions overlapping Fibromyalgia and those have to be addressed to. If you notice any new symptoms let your doctor know,don't just assume it's Fibro.
I am very tired now and my hands are not doing what I want them to do,they keep skipping keys and hitting what ever they like so it looks like breaking point for me tonight.
Good night to all,if you are someone suffering from fibro know you are not alone!
My symptoms have been getting worse by day in last week or so. Today I had to hold on to things in order to stay on my feet,my legs felt as if they were going to give up on me any time,now that's some scary stuff... When I talk about flare ups the worst one I always describe as a tunnel,kind of like the one tornado forms, you get sucked in and you can't get out. First huge flare up started in fall/winter of 2005 and it lasted till about August/September of 2006. I had no idea what has gotten into me,sick and scared would be best description. After I get home from work I would take care of my small children,household chores were on priority basis,I would make sure we all had food to eat,I would put dishes in dishwasher when I could,toilets had to be cleaned and laundry done. There was no dusting,organizing,making things look pretty,it was just not happening. I've dealt with everything the best I could,when I could. After that first huge flare up I was 'fine' up until April of 2010. It is June of 2011 and I'm still in the 'tunel' I've mentioned earlier.
There is so much I want to write about and it is very hard not to start from beginning and keep going until everyone is tired, me writing, you reading. I would like to separate this Fibromyalgia Journey into several different topics. With my symptoms getting worse every day I wanted to address how it feels to be the one who's always sick. One thing I've learned just recently is that you have to be open about how and what you feel. At first I thought it was in my head. There was just no way you can be in so much pain,all the time and all of your body hurts. Fatigue and on top of pain and fatigue came neurological symptoms. Fibro fog was really bad, I could not remember things,it was hard to think,sometimes it was even hard to talk. Tingling and numbness of your hands,legs,even my face. My skin was burning,kind of like you feel when you get sunburn but much worse,much deeper. I would apply lotion several times an hour just to get some relief. I'm assuming gentle massage was what was really helping. Chemical sensitivities,allergies,breathing problems. Dizziness,sensitivity to lights,sounds. No way all this was happening,no way it was real. I would go to see a Doctor, my PCP and I would just tell her that I'm hurting. She would do an exam,tell me that she can't see nothing wrong. Do some bloodwork to exclude and inflammation and check on my tyroid because I was loosing weight. Everything would come back fine. My hands/legs would swell and my joints would hurt so bad that there was just no way that it was not arthritis. I took it upon myself to go see a rheumatologist who then diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. I ended up in Emergency Room (before I went to see rheumatologist) and after ER Doctor examined me and ran some tests I asked him what he thinks could be wrong with me. He looked me and said that if I was not as young as I was he would tell me (before the test results would come back) that I have cancer. I looked at him and said,OK,let's wait for results. He took time to talk to me,talk about my symptoms and after the tests came back (fine,of course) he said that if I keep feeling like this that I have to push my PCP to get me checked out for MS. It made perfect sense. So I went to see my PCP again,told her what ER DR said and before you know it I was on my way to do MRI of my brain and scheduling appointment with Neurologist. After that first visit and my brain MRI being fine I was sent to do back MRI and to come back to see the Neurologist. Between the two MRI's I saw Rheumatologist who then said it is Fibromyalgia if my second MRI comes clean,which it did.
I hope that this entry will get to someone who is going through what ever I went before I got diagnosed and that will empower that person to start doing what ever they can to help themselves. Listen to what your body has to say and SPEAK UP. It is not in your head,it is real and there are thousands of people dealing with this monster on daily basis. Talk to your doctors and talk to your family. They don't know what's wrong unless we tell them. Ask for help,what ever it is that you need. There are several conditions overlapping Fibromyalgia and those have to be addressed to. If you notice any new symptoms let your doctor know,don't just assume it's Fibro.
I am very tired now and my hands are not doing what I want them to do,they keep skipping keys and hitting what ever they like so it looks like breaking point for me tonight.
Good night to all,if you are someone suffering from fibro know you are not alone!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Starting my Blog
I'm a very private person and not to many people know about me being sick. Most of the time I look OK and I can 'hide' the pain and all other symptoms that come with Fibro. I share my everyday struggles with very few people, my husband who's everything I ever wanted in a husband,my love and my support, and my friend who knows a lot about Fibro because her mother has it to and because she's my friend and we share pretty much everything. My sister and my parents live over seas and I try not to tell them much just because they are not around me,can't help, but they do worry about my health and well being. Besides my friends mom who lives in another state I only know one more lady that has Fibro. I've been looking up different blogs, looking for a support group in my town and did not find what I was looking for... I wold love to meet someone who is about the same age, has children and trying to be a good person,good mom and wife and trying to build career to. It is very hard to balance all that not to mention how hard it is when you are sick. There are several good websites that I go to, few good blogs,after checking all of that out I decided to go ahead and start my own just to add bit more to the world of Fibromyalgia.My idea is to keep it light as much as possible and at the same time be realistic and truthful about the struggle people with Fibro go through on everyday basis. By all means I am not a journalist, never blogged about anything, English is my second language and there will be mistakes so please, don't judge to much :)
There is a lot to write about, I will try to keep my posts shorter not to overwhelm readers or myself. Today is one of the days where my muscles are very tired, right now I feel like someone is pulling on every muscle in my body, they are stiff, my hands hurt,so does my face. I have to close my eyes every once in a while just to get them to rest and hurt bit less than they do (yes,my eyes are hurting to).
I am little bit uncomfortable about putting all this 'on paper' and showing it to everyone but how can I expect people to know about Fibro and accepted it as something that is out there if I'm not able to talk about it and be comfortable about every aspect of it. I guess I don't want people to fuss about it to much? I'm not sure what it is that makes me feel that way but hope this blog will help me as I'm trying to help others.
Ok,this is it for tonight,time to rest. Planing on at least one post per day, have a lot to talk about and would love for readers to get involved,ask questions,give any suggestions on topics etc.
Have a good night or good morning, depending on which side of this wonderful world you are on :)))
There is a lot to write about, I will try to keep my posts shorter not to overwhelm readers or myself. Today is one of the days where my muscles are very tired, right now I feel like someone is pulling on every muscle in my body, they are stiff, my hands hurt,so does my face. I have to close my eyes every once in a while just to get them to rest and hurt bit less than they do (yes,my eyes are hurting to).
I am little bit uncomfortable about putting all this 'on paper' and showing it to everyone but how can I expect people to know about Fibro and accepted it as something that is out there if I'm not able to talk about it and be comfortable about every aspect of it. I guess I don't want people to fuss about it to much? I'm not sure what it is that makes me feel that way but hope this blog will help me as I'm trying to help others.
Ok,this is it for tonight,time to rest. Planing on at least one post per day, have a lot to talk about and would love for readers to get involved,ask questions,give any suggestions on topics etc.
Have a good night or good morning, depending on which side of this wonderful world you are on :)))
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